Trival Points to make....

Okay, I got a little bit more added to the blog, but there are still a few items to go....
I finally found the chair to use with part of the display for the quilt, but I have not photographed it set up at this time.

I have a baby made out of clay that also sits on the rug which is in progress in the studio...I am working on the surface appearance at this time.  The photo is prior to being fired at all and looks completely different.

I am looking for a few more cigarettes packs and still waiting on a friend to bring me a table......

Oops

It seems that I have neglected posting photos of my work recently as my adviser brought to my attention....  Okay, now I know that I am completely wiped out!  Here we go....
This one is of the rug that I started, tore apart and redid and still adding to at this point.

This is the last of the plates that I had made, which is representing the issues of molestation from my childhood, many of the others had similar images on them, but are probably not as close as to what I needed to create.  This is before the final firing.

I had to make a base to hold the sign from a few months ago, and this photo is while it is underway...  I could only add some at a time due to the epoxy having time to set.

These are the three paintings that I had to create based on the photos of myself in a reflection, while I was reflecting on my life....

This photo is the family of four after I finished inserting the smaller pieces into the openings.  This last month I finished inserting the pieces, because I had set it aside for awhile to work on other projects.

Crunched

Just working myself to death in the real world to raise the $$$$$ to get back to school and not let my family down.  We have not even put up a tree this year, for the first time ever in my whole life.  I am feeling so very sad and alone this year trying to be so much...a teacher, sales person, mother, and a student!  I do not know how to get there and not let everyone down.  I am trying to get at least one thing for each of the kids, but this year is going to be nothing like the previous years.  Plus while I am in Boston, I am going to miss my oldest daughter's 16th birthday!!  Boy, do I feel like a jerk.  I am scheduled to work at Macy's every day next week including Christmas eve, and still do not know if I can raise enough $$ to go on.  In addition I am squeezing in some reading time to be ready for school!  The only benefit is that I am loosing weight, and staying so busy that I really appreciate a few minutes to actually just sit!

Exhausted

So very tired.....I keep meeting myself going and going.....I leave the house at 7:30 in the morning and return....14 hours later....  I think that my kids forgot who I was, because they actually did their chores today.  I have a guaranteed subbing job through Tuesday of next week, so now I need to reschedule my meeting with my mentor.  I have turned down work every time I have had meetings, but I can't afford to lose a solid 4 day stretch like that.  I have been reading the essays for my new semester in January....My goal is 1 a night, bits and pieces....

I still have things to get wrapped up before I can go......finishing touches you might say on some pieces....

1st day at Macys

Yes, today was my first regular day at Macys!  I think that I did pretty well at rolling with the punches.  The time went by very fast, and I had a great time talking with customers.  Tonight I stopped into the Marsh gallery at Herron for the "Material Muse" reception.  I had a good time talking to some of the other students along with Danielle Reide.  My only concern now is that I may not get a day off this week to just get in some studio work, besides my few hours each day.....Oh well...

Here is a bad photo of the painting that was based on the photos I took and posted last week......This is the first of a small group.

Need another Job

I got an interview for holiday help at Macys in Greenwood tomorrow.  I have no idea what I would be doing, but I guess at this point it doesn't matter as long as I can still get some studio time in. 
I started a painting...based on that photo that I took of the back porch which was a reflection, and at times, it is how I feel...blurry, not sure about what I am seeing...somewhat a hint of aloneness, solitude, the sublime.  I am working on this in layers of colors with only gradual shifts in colors. This one is small, only about a 16x20..roughly I didn't measure it.  This was an old stretched canvas that I had painted on before, but was not happy with the end result.
I also made a mold today of tree bark out of plaster.  I have plans on using it for the surface of a figure.
I got another 20 feet added to the rug...length that is not size....ha ha
I have been doing a great deal of introspection....why am I like what I am?  Did all of the past really twist me, or did it make me stronger, more resilient?  At my age, at this point in my life I have the courage to ask these questions, to take out my sword and face the demons.

Happy Birthday!

Yes, it is my birthday, and I had a full day of subbing at Hawthorne Elementary today.  Came home then went back out to grab something from the store.  I made a vegetarian lasagna and zucchini bread (no sugar and lowfat), but I ate more than enough.  By the time this was over with, it was 8 and I was beat...I turned into a stuffed vegetable.
I got a nice email from Hannah stating that my paper was good....thank God.....I always feel that they are terrible.  I have to look for jobs on a consistent basis, due to getting TANF.  It is not very much, and at this point I do not know where I am going to get the $$ to get back to school, or even pay for staying there.  We are struggling bad and it is making me nuts and feeling very closed in...not a creative atmosphere to be surrounded by at this time.
This week has flown by, and I don't know where and I want it back!!

One of those weekends!

I really hate it when no matter how hard you try to get something to work...it doesn't!  I got my base made (plaster part poured) for my sign that I did months ago, but didn't make a base so that it could stand up.  Yes, I procrastinated....only because it was not the main idea of the piece.  I tried and tried to get the types of glues that I had on hand to work, but to no avail.  So that has to wait until I get paid again so that I can go get some epoxy that I have used before for ceramic piece assembly.  I did as much work on the rug as I could and it is slowly getting bigger, but it takes 3 bags for 3 feet of length, and I am out of brown ones again....Today, I started sewing together the circles pieces for my "Family of Four" piece that ...Yes I procrastinated again....  I got the main part done, and since this piece really was an odd ball from the other stuff that I was making, I put it aside for a little while.  I did find a chair for my vignette that goes with my quilt!!  Yeah!!

I am ready to do some painting experiments based on a picture I took...a little on the sublime side, but it is fitting to my moods at times, very true to my life.  I feel that I am running out of time, and I have thoughts that I am trying to work out.  UGH!

Winterizing in the Studio!

I have had a mini vacation from (nonart) work for the last 2 weeks.  My first week was spent in the studio prepping for my visit with my mentor, but the second I spent insulating and closing up holes in my studio walls.  We put a door at the top of the stairs and added another receptacle and a ceiling light for the stairwell.  On breaks from that I was getting in some research time along with currently getting my paper put together.
I found a chair along side of the road near the house which will fit perfectly into a small vignette that I am creating in my studio.  So I had to sweep the floor.  I guess my studio might creep out those who prefer a pristine environment to work in, but I prefer a space that I can get messy without worrying like crazy.

Crazy Month

This is my craziest month of the year with 5 birthdays in the immediate family running from October 10th- November 10th.  I finally finished my quilt, which relates to memories of my childhood.  My Grandmother and Aunt Mary always made these 9-patch quilts out of scraps laying around.  I made my version of this "family favorite" out of things laying around, but mine were out of drink cans that my family consumed.  This was a very time consuming process and a total of 486 cans were cut apart, pattern traced on them, cut again, and then folded in shape.  I started this project just before my last mentor meeting in September, with 36 cans to show her the idea and how it was to take shape.  The total hours were calculated up around 70-80.  Sheesh!!!  I also made more plates and started a different project...okay a few other ones.  Here is the finished quilt.

Interesting Artist

Over the weekend I had an opportunity to see an exhibit in the gallery at Herron.  Her name is Nnenna Okore and she is originally from Nigeria.  I was attracted to her work, because I have also begun to use materials that she has also been using in some of her pieces.  Here is the link to her web site.  http://www.nnennaokore.com/index.html

Wow, a whole week!

I guess it has been a whole week since my last post!  I have not made any great discoveries or made the news.... just trudging along in the art home world.  I have been recovering from a nasty bug that had me under the norm last week and I just finished the antibiotics on Thursday, then got a phone call today about some labs being a little out of whack.  Another doctor appointment scheduled for this upcoming Thursday.  Sheesh!!!  Can't I just do my thing?  I have been debating with myself about what matters in my life....an unending question...Oh well...library tomorrow, bank, and some work,( art work I mean)........3 day weekend.....I need more work($$$$ type work)!!!  It would be great, if they were the same, but that usually means that I would need to find a hook!  Something to get a patron's attention!!!  Sell Out!  Okay, I am starting the brain defragmentation, so long overdo!!!!

Ideas coming to life

I guess that I do not speak a great deal about the concepts behind the works that I am experimenting with and maybe someone out there might be a little curious as to what is going on in my brain...(oh how it hurts sometimes).  The plates are narratives into small bleeps of memories of events that took place in my childhood, even though some of them may seem so insignificant...they just stuck!  I am combining plates, some, in conflicting thoughts to these stories (memories), and some the same thought by itself.  The most current one is based on my own molesting (uncle) that was hushed or honestly never revealed within the family.  I am very aware of how these types of events are never faced, but swept under the proverbial carpet.....If we truly had that big of a carpet!!!!!
Many things pop into my head as I am working on these plates, crashing of them together, as how they crashed into my own life, then intermingled into my daily life, then next will become a blending...natural evolution.  Plates are so traditional...I am serving something to you, domesticated, in our everyday life.  Such a natural obsession!

I did mention a carpet to sweep things under!  My next thought process naturally led me into a rug, but not out of traditional material. 

Home and Sick!

I haven't gone to work this week, partly from lack of calls, and the rest due to this cough.  I finally have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and I hope I can get rid of this by Friday so I can get in 1 day of work.  I did not put in much studio time today since I did Monday and Tuesday.  I already have the 20 hours in for the week, but paper to be written this weekend, so I have some more research to do. 

These two plates are the latest experiment in splitting and recombining images with slip mono-print.  They are still green, but are sitting out in the kiln now awaiting dryness.

Extra Day Off

Much to my surprise, I did not get called into work today.  I was able to read a few more articles this morning as well as finishing the slip layers on the 4 disc patterns.  I continued on more cans....(never-ending) 

I broke and rearranged 2 plates that were firming up overnight, and then I tried something new with 2 of the discs that got dry by dinnertime.  I held the 2 together and cut them into strips, then I alternated them with the other one...every other strip back into a circle.  Each of these discs were opposing forces, good versus bad, or more properly, evil versus innocence.  I turned the strips over and taped them together and applied them to the clay, and put them over the molds.  I applied under glaze over the bottoms with paper cutouts as a resist to mask off areas from receiving colors.  These 2 plates should be firm by tomorrow!  I am keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Working and Fighting a Cold

I have been fighting off a cold of some type since Friday, and boy does it make everything seem to go in slow motion!  I really don't feel as though I am getting anywhere, or maybe it is because all of my projects are so time consuming in the initial prep stage.  I have cans to cut apart, marking a pattern, re-cutting, and folding.  I won't even discuss how many lectures that I have to give the kids about giving me the cans and not the trash can.

  I got 2 more plates put together, and 2 more to assemble tomorrow (they are slightly firming up overnight).  The slip layering is also very time consuming, but by tomorrow I will have 4 more plate sized discs ready for clay!  I have to fight the family for the table space since the studio does not have water available.

 I have another idea in the thinking process, but since I am icky feeling, I will stew over it until all the cobwebs of sickness are gone.

The Day After

I only had a afternoon kindergarten to sub today, so I was able to get in reading for 3 1/2 articles this morning before I went in.  This evening I put in my regular two hours in the studio trying to devise other materials and items that I can create.  Today I made flower tops out of cigarette packs...oh the irony is dripping!!  I gessoed the other set of arms again, on other side...building it up.  They are for another table similar to the last one.  I will be building the substructure for it this weekend.  Rummaging around my stuff for ideas to keep the ball rolling.  I finally decided on the two artists that I will be comparing....Louise Bourgeois and Alison Saar. 

Second Mentor Meeting

Meetings with my mentor, Denise, always seem to give me just the extra encouragement that I need.  We share some similar struggles of our youths which helps create a better understanding of the place we draw from in our art making.  I truly appreciate the wealth of information she has about other artists that I can look at that are doing similar things, either in the end result or as a part of their process.  After I returned home, after our first visit she emailed me the names of the artists she had mentioned with links to their work, and this helped to create more meaningful conversations in regards to their conceptions and realizations.  Mathew Barney is a very complex individual, but complexity can be a fascinating subject.  I am currently awaiting her email from this visit to see the new artists she recommended during our conversation yesterday.  I don't work until this afternoon, so...time to get reading!

Cans, cans everywhere!

I have been cutting and shaping and folding aluminum cans like crazy the last few weeks, and it still seems as though I have not done a thing!  I have been trying to create a vignette as my mentor suggested for my clay pieces, and I think I have done so, at least the thought is there.  I am beat!  I have 4 new plates, and a table and a quilt that I am starting....out of cans!  My hands are really sore from cutting, the scissors, no cuts.  Funniest part of it all, is when my teenager came up to me while I was cutting the cans and said, "I need a haircut, Mom can you cut it?"  That was the easy part of the day!!!

Weekend

This weekend did not produce as much as I had hoped for, but I got a couple of more plates made.  The layering process takes so long, and then I smashed them together.  Denise said that it can be liberating to take something precious and basically destroy it.  I can say that I felt very cautious and was definitely uncertain of myself at the time I did it.  I spent all day Sunday wrapping the arms of 2 of my kids with plaster wrap so that I can use their arms as table supports to go with my plates.  I got one substructure built for one of the tables, and today I finally got it out of the form that I had poured the plaster into.  I also started creating the layers for 2 more plates tonight, but this time I am thinking about a particular thought from my childhood.  My son thinks it is a little creepy looking and I think that he would just laugh at me if he realized what is going on.

Long weekend ahead!

The work week for me is finally over, and I am anxious to get busy with some clay this weekend.  I have been diligently cutting apart aluminum cans since I returned home Tuesday from my mentors.  My clay work takes a very long time with the layering techniques that I have been using and I need long full days for the process.  I have finally decided to make some displays for these plates that I will be making out of the plaster arms that I had been experimenting with, (or playing around with).  Denise and I discussed my interest in using or re-appropriating stuff that I have excess of around the house, such as cans, bottles..etc.  Now, I am planning on a new experiment with sewing and cans.  We will see.  I did play around with some strips of some of these cans and wove them with some fabric.  It is a little small for a place mat, but you get the idea, and it was just a trial to get a feel to see how I feel about working with the material. 

Visit with Mentor

Today was my first real life meeting with my mentor, and it went very well.  She was very encouraging and supportive of my ideas.  We both shared a story from our childhoods that left us with blacked out fragmented memories of a bad time.  This conversation evolved around my ceramic plate work which is something that I will continue to build upon.  She also helped me to generate new ideas to develop into my work, so this was well worth the drive in my old car.  I was very glad that I made it there and back home.

So Busy..

Sometimes I feel like I dropped off the face of the planet!  I am working full time subbing in the neighboring township, and doing my work for school.  I had not even realized that I had not posted here for 10 days..Boy did time fly!  I designed a holder for the "family of four" experimental piece that I am making.  The holder itself is 7' long or tall, and is still in the sewing stage, hand sewing the back at this precise moment or I will be back to doing it after this post.  I have been free writing the last few days for the critical theory paper which is coming due very soon.  My brain is starting to feel a little mushy between spending all day with elementary kids, sneaking in some reading for lunch, and working at home each night and trying to think critically about what I am trying to read and write...then be creative...HA...Can we say mush brains?  Okay, here is the picture before I started sewing the pieces together, it is just cut out and front and backs basted together.

Invisible thread

Now, I know why I was able to find a spool of that thin plastic thread, so fittingly labeled, invisible thread.  The first habit that you have to break as someone who sews, is that need to wet the thread to get it into the eye of the needle. (won't work no matter how many times you make a lame attempt at it)  I think that I will be blind by the time I am finished sewing with it, and that is why I probably found it in the first place, because I have no idea how it arrived in my possession.

SLOW

Funny, how it seems that lately everything that I do is in an ultimate slow mode.  Elmer's glue is great, but I feel that I am losing a whole bunch of time waiting on things to dry.  I have multiple things in progress, but they all have drying time involved.  Today I worked with some clay, along with some colored slips, that I made yesterday and I am using a monoprint type of transfer for the design. I applied multiple layers of designs and I hope that it works the way I had envisioned.  I may even apply a decal in the end....after all I did buy this laser printer for that purpose, and I found my decal paper for the ceramics.  Hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder how much trouble I can get myself into.  

Finally!

I finally finished reading "The Poetics of Space" late last night, and today I started on some articles for my next paper.  I read a few pages of one book by Tufte, and a few pages of another article and one complete article.  I think that I will read the book by Lippard next, because she is closer to the subject of my next paper, "feminism".  I do not know if I can put it simply other than by calling it as I see it....."no one has lived my life, especially not a man, and I am not accepting the fact that he is a man to excuse the behavior anymore."  Life truly belongs to the bitch!

Late Night in the Hotel

This has been a crazy week for us with helping one of my adult sons and his partner remodel an addition on their home and the Atkinson 100th family reunion.  I have been gone from home since Wednesday, and I finally have a moment to get on a pc with faster internet. 
So after getting in a bit of reading between the noises from a room stuffed with kids, what else is left?  Oh ...maybe squeeze in a few moments of mindless trivial games, and hopefully some slightly legible ramblings on a blog.

I truly hope that somehow these kids survive and grow up with some normalness and can fit into the outside world and not be totally socially backward.

2nd piece almost done!

I spent the weekend at my son's house 2 hours away to help lay the foundation for a room addition, but managed to squeeze in a few hours to sew together the pieces of the house that I have been working on.  I was also lucky enough to finish another chapter of my book.  The only things left to do are to finish the display holder for the piece and to attach them together.  There are 2 sides to the piece, the primary is in b&w and are pieces of old self portraits, and the other side is color pieces of nudes.  These represent the dual nature of a home...how it can seem normal, but is not.  The display is just how I was trained to think...I think the ceramics side of me got pounded into it by the wonderful Ms. Lesley Baker..."How is this to be displayed"....

and yes the display holder does look like the kind of sign you might see  "for sale" on.

Another day....

Summer weekends always seem to be full of either running, or Holidays, etc...  Today was Brianna's 8th birthday party over at Phyllis and Georges, so most of the day was spent at their house; however I did get through chapter 3 which puts me halfway through the book I am reading.  Tonight when we returned, I hit the studio and feel that I made much more decisive actions on the first piece of mine.  Really second, but first for school.  I do not have much to do to it, and should be done tomorrow, providing my thread supply holds on.

Some experimental pieces

Sorry about the blur...I used my phone.  Working with a variety of materials, fabric, canvas, and paper.  Attempting to work more abstractly than realistically; although those elements are present within the work.  Yes, I do like to work on the floor.

Working!

Spent a few hours this morning tossing around ideas while working in the studio.  I finally got my house back from guests that had been here for a few days.  So...now I have the one piece that I have been fiddling with, and another smaller piece underway along with plaster arms just laying around getting coats of paste and gesso on them.  I have been putting some clear laquer on some old drawings that are going to be dissected and reused in one of my projects.  I really want to play with some clay, but I need to get some $$ to pick up some talc and ball clay.....ideas are flowing!

Mentor

I finally got that one special email today; which said yes...I will be glad to work with you!  Her name is Denise Burge, and she is from Cincinnati, Ohio.  Luckily, that is only 2 hours away from home.  You can check out her work at www.myoriginaldirt.com .  Later in the day I got to play with some plaster wrap and wrapped a few arms.  Experimental works in progress...

Finished

I am finally finished with the painting for my cousin, and will be delivering tomorrow.  Rick, Roland and I went to pick up our new glasses today, and had Sarayia have her eyes checked.  Continued to get the studio prepped and got a ceiling fan with lights installed.....Now I will be able to really see!!  Next week, I may move in...hubby wont let me!! 

Space!

I have been feeling...rather stifled since my return home, and this is because of not really having the space to work in like I used to have.  My deck is gone..due to our city.  (very long story)  I finally gritted my teeth and pushed my hubby, and ta da....my upstairs in the garage is finally evolving from a storage of junk to a space where I can work and be alone, away from the kids and other well meaning individuals.  This transformation got started with the help of my daughter who wants to have her 16th birthday party in the loft...aka studio.  Oh, the push I gave my hubby had to do with putting in a few receptacles so that I can have power... it only took four years, and a few weeks of moping and getting upset about...what else....space!

Pre-holiday.

No matter how much you have going on in your life, holidays just simply do not go away!  I got several hours of painting in today, but for the painting that my cousin commissioned for a wedding gift for her future daughter-in-law.  I finally got it completely under-painted, and will glaze it with monochromatic warm umber to give it a feeling of nostalgia.  This is not the type of painting that I want to base my career on, but its for family; so why not.  By the way, family commissions do not pay well at all!

Getting started..................

After 20 minutes on hold just to find out that I can NOT recover my shot records from my childhood, I ended up with 4 shots in the arms!  UGH!  Back home and jumping into work that I am uncertain of at this point, no mentor in sight; at least that I would be serious enough to WANT to look at as an artist.  There is plenty of talent out there, but do I want to do them....be molded in some subliminal way....hardly!  I am combining thoughts from my own life....answering questions as to what makes me feel at home, security, unconditional acceptance...at this point there is gesso and canvas and matt board.  Who knows what will happen?

Back at Home!

First day back yesterday spent with family, catching up on laundry...etc....  We took our son for an eye exam, and made appointments for ourselves.  Next came the grocery store!  Okay, now time to get back in the saddle so to speak.  I hope my fellow group 1"s all had a safe trip back.

Hello!

Morning world!  Today is the first day at creating a blog for AIB!!  I am not sure how well I am going to be at doing this, but I am willing to give anything a try...at least once!